suicide and lies…

The following is a letter I wrote recently for the monthly newsletter at St. John’s Lutheran Church in Norwood Young America, MN.  I was asked to submit it to the local paper and thought I would follow up with posting it here as well. 

God’s grace and mercy are with you as you follow Christ out of this Lenten season.

I recently read the account in Luke where Christ fasted in the wilderness for 40 days and then was tempted by Satan.  It struck me how crafty Satan is. Not only did he try to make Jesus doubt who He is (“If you are the Son of God…”), but he also tried to use God’s Word against Him, quoting Scripture to Christ as reason for Him to disobey the Father’s clear Word.

Satan will use any means necessary to ruin us, even twisting God’s Word against us.  We still see this in our world today.  In the last couple of months our community has lost 2 young men to apparent suicide.  I don’t know all the details connected with these tragic deaths, but I do know that the types of messages that Satan whispers into the minds of those who consider suicide.

Satan lies to us saying that we can never be forgiven for things we have done. LIES!  He tells us that the world would be better off without us. LIES!  He tries to deceive us into thinking that God wants us to take our lives. LIES!  Sometimes he tells us that life just isn’t worth the pain of living, or that taking our life is the ultimate way to get back at those who hurt us. LIES, LIES LIES!  Or like he did with Christ, he tries to use times of weakness to convince us to do things that will result in serious injury or death. All LIES! The worst part is that his lies always sound so much like the truth.  He wraps them in truth so that we will eat up his lies.

Satan knows the things that will get to us the most.  He knows the things that will tempt us to turn from God’s way or to doubt God’s Word. It is what he did in the very beginning with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.  It is what he did with Christ in the desert, and he is still playing the “doubt card.”  But God’s Word is clear.  He loves and forgives us.  He created us with a purpose in this world.  He wants us to love not only Him but ourselves and others too.  In lonely and difficult times it is normal to feel despair and simply want the pain to end, but He calls on us to not give up.  In those times when we are at our lowest – when we feel like even those who should be there for us are not – we need to hear God’s Word of promise that He is the Judge who will make all things right.  He will bind up our wounds and wipe away our tears.  In times of weakness we are not called to put God to the test but to trust in His love and His strength to carry us through. 

In times of deep sadness like this we have an opportunity to offer God’s love, care, and compassion to each other and those around us.  I encourage all of you to put into practice the things God has spoken to us in His Word, by using whatever gifts God has blessed you with to bring His healing touch to our community. Pray that God would show you how you might help.  Talk with others about it.  Pray some more and then do what God has put on your heart. May we hear Him in His Word and may we do His will.  As we do His will, may the world give thanks and honor to Him.  May all grow in faith, hope and love toward God.

Living Forever, Now,

Pastor Michael James Grannis

outfoxed TWICE by a 16-month-old…

This morning was…well I don’t know what it was, but it wasn’t what I was hoping for.  Kristy went to bed last night just after the kids went down.  I stayed up until about quarter to 11.  I was planning on going to a 5:30 group fitness class if I woke up early enough (the kids usually see to that).  Now, I didn’t even consider setting the alarm before going to bed.  I figured if the kids let me sleep in a bit and I didn’t wake up on my own, then I must need the sleep.  The kids have been a bit off on their sleep schedules the last week or so (resulting in many middle of the night debates over whether or not it was in fact time to get up), so any extra rest is just going toward paying down my recent sleep debt. 

Well, this morning was different (pleasantly so…or so it seemed).  We awoke to the familiar sound of our kids’ feet quickly carrying them to the bathroom.  Kristy turned over looked at the clock and said something like, “I can’t believe it.  The kids slept in till 6:30”  (In all seriousness, folks, this easily passes for sleeping in at our home)  She followed that up with, “Were you gonna go workout?”  I told her that I had already missed the class I wanted to attend, so I was in no hurry to get out of bed.  We chatted a bit about how nice it was to get a full, uninterrupted night of sleep.  

While we were laying there our boys ran into our room and cuddled into bed with us.  We waited for our little lady to follow behind, but she did not.  Soon we heard her making unhappy sounds, so we sent the eldest to go check on her and report back to us.  He quickly returned, saying that she was just behind him, and she did in fact follow him back into our room.  After a few more minutes of crowded snuggles, I sent the two boys to go take a shower.  Kristy took our little lady to go make breakfast, while I stayed right where I was to enjoy a few moments of solitude in a nice warm bed. 

My bliss was cut short, however, by a strange announcement.  Kristy came back and informed me that it was not actually 7:07 as our clock now read, but it was about 4:55.  She followed that up with, “So, you still have plenty of time to make it to your 5:30 workout class.”  I got up and hurried around, dividing my time between getting ready and playing moderator to bathroom arguments over shower toys.  I was almost ready to run out the door and make it to my class on time, but one item was nowhere to be found…my right workout shoe.  I searched high and low, but was unable to locate it.  After about 15 minutes of searching, I decided to call off the search. I wouldn’t make it to that class after all.

How did the clock get so off?  Kristy told me she remembers that our little girl was messing around with the clock yesterday.   How did my shoe disappear?  I have a sneaky suspicion that the same culprit is to blame.  The Bible teaches that humility is a very important trait.  It will be required of all people when we stand before our Creator and it is a pretty useful thing this side of eternity as well.  Well, it is pretty hard to think too long on one’s superiority when you find that you have been outfoxed by a 16-month-old not once but TWICE…and all before 6:00 a.m.

Thank you God for teaching me humility…

A mini fridge above our stove…?

A mini fridge above our stove…?.

I’m gettin nothin for Christmas…

When it comes to spending money, nobody would accuse me of being a prodigal (look it up), but I am starting to feel a bit sad about my family Christmas this year.  In years past we toyed with the idea of limiting the money spent on presents by drawing names for our gift exchange (however, we never actually committed to this).  This year once again, when we started talking about Christmas plans, the idea of drawing names was brought up.  But about a week later we abandoned the idea…again.  What makes this year different is that instead of deciding to do the more traditional buy-everyone-a-present family gathering, it has been decided that only the kids (my kids) would get presents this year.

Initially, I was more than happy to comply.  It’s not that I don’t like shopping. Quite the contrary.  I am one of those few guys who thoroughly enjoys going to malls and shops, searching for treasures that may be hidden in the yet unscavanged nooks and crannies.  I especially enjoy going shopping during this time of the year when the air is chilling outside, and the atmosphere is warm and almost magical inside.  It seems that everywhere I go nostalgia is attacking all my senses, filling me with joy, making me whole both inside and out (a little much?).

Anyway, like I said, everybody who knows me knows I generally like to save money when at all possible (At the movie theater I recently asked for empty cups so that I could fill them at the drinking fountain, rather than buying the bottled water they were trying to sell).  But when it comes to buying presents I find real joy in finding the unexpected perfect gift no matter how much or how little the gift may cost (however, I could care less about buying greeting cards).  So, the past few weeks as the time has passed by I realized that something was really missing from the whole season for me.  I was missing buying presents.

Don’t get me wrong.  I am happy to have the extra cash in my pockets.  But it was occurring to me the other day how truly amazing Christmas shopping is.  When else in the year do you have so many people simultaneously going out of their way (and getting in each other’s ways) to spend their money (often in economically sacrificial ways) to bless the people God has put in their lives with things they perceive will bring them joy.   Not just money but the time, hassle, stress and intentionality so often required to accomplish the task of finding the right gifts for the right people…it really just amazes me.

So, why did my family opt to forgo the beautiful custom of mutual shows of love and care through the giving of gifts? Well, in short we all wanted to save some money.   The year has been tight financially for all of us for different reasons. When push came to shove we decided that rather than taxing each other with additional financial burdens, our mutual gift to each other would be to simply be with each other. In some ways it feels like a real let down to me. It doesn’t bother me that I am not getting anything (Oddly enough, the only thing I can think of right now that I want for Christmas is some new white t-shirts. Hardly worth the trouble of wrapping, really).   No, what has been bothering me is that I am not giving anything to anybody.

Well, just this past week an idea popped into my wife’s head.  There is a family we know who we found out is struggling quite a bit.  One of their children has been in and out of the hospital all year with cancer and now they are really struggling financially.  Kristy has begun to try to rally our church to bless this family with a significant financial gift in order to help them through this difficult time.  This has encouraged me to start asking others outside of our church if they could help contribute some money for this family as well.  Perhaps, you reading this blog want to join in and help them out too.  If so, just email me and I will let you know who to make the check out to and where to send it.  revgrannis@gmail.com

I may not be getting anything for Christmas this year, I may not even be giving that much this year, but that doesn’t mean I can’t help a family in need.   Maybe my family’s decision to forgo gifts this year was just a way for God to free up some money He wanted this other family to have instead.  Merry Christmas and safe travels to all who are traveling.

our little echo box…

As I have mentioned before, our second son is our middle child.  And he is in many ways a classic Mr. Middle (I would like to take this moment to mention that both my wife and I are middle children…my wife much more classically so).  Mr. Middle was learning to talk when his elder brother was beginning a phase of fleeing into large crowds and wide open spaces.  These situations tended to evoke sharp outbursts from either or both of us parents.  There were many days filled with terror and/or frustration.  Those days were soon followed by many more days of embarrassment as our little Mr. Number Two quickly became our family echo box.  His first full sentence very well might have been “Come back here, right now!” (Yelled, of course, in a very stern voice at his older brother.) 

As he has aged Mr. Middle has added many more of our greatest hits to his collection of echoed phrases.   We are not prone to profanity, cursing or swearing , so we have not had to deal much if at all with vulgarity.  Nevertheless, it is a bit disconcerting when your three-year-old turns tyrannical in the midst of a morning temper tantrum, screaming, “Dadda, stop saying that!  I do NOT appreciate this!  That is NOT a good idea! Stop it, right now!”  While I want our children to learn to listen well and obey rules, I also want them to learn to respect authority and be respectful and respectable to others when they are in positions of authority. 

I doubt that our children would be able to eloquently articulate their philosophy of the role of authority in home and society.  But the echoes of my little Mr. Middle speak volumes.  And sad to say I don’t always like what I hear.  It’s not so much what I hear him saying (i.e. what I hear him echoing from my wife and myself ).  It is the tone he uses when he says what he says that bothers me. 

My wife likes to say that we are not raising children, rather we are raising future adults.  That serves as a reminder that how we treat them now will shape their understanding of who they are and how they are to relate to others.  If we show them that power and authority is grounded in yelling and anger then that will be their view of authority.  If we seek to lovingly show them the difference between right and wrong, and teach them the value of seeking and giving forgiveness, then I’d like to think their view of authority will be shaped in much more positive ways.  Rather than learning that orders must be barked and authority feared or detested, they will learn to practice wisdom, reason, self-sacrifice and reconciliation.  These are things worth respecting, not to mention marks of true influence and authority. 

I am happy to say that our little echo box doesn’t just go around all day yelling at his siblings (or his parents).  In fact the most common thing he says to me and the rest of our family is said in a whisper.  Every day (between 10 and 100 times a day) in a soft, sweet voice I hear something like this:

“Come here, Dadda.  I have a secret to tell you…I love you.  Was that a good secret?  Ok, now you tell me a secret.” 

I love you too, little man.

life in the prairie…

So a few days ago our family had the joy of celebrating our eldest’s 5th birthday.  Since my wife and I have been trying to be responsible adults recently, we have been limiting our spending and trying to increase our debt pay down rate.  After having successfully paid off our credit cards we are now working on the loan on our minivan (thank you very much, Dave Ramsey).   Anyway, we were wondering what to do for our eldest on his birthday.  We wanted to avoid the costs associated with throwing a big party and were not really wanting to accumulate tons more stuff to trip over in our home. 

A while back I determined that the perfect birthday treat would be to go bowling at an actual bowling alley.  He loves “playing bowling” on Wii whenever we go to my moms. Last year he got a couple home bowling sets, which we combined and put to good use in our basement.  One of his favorite videos is a Curious George DVD with an episode about bowling.  And I recalled the wonder in his eyes when he saw the bowling lanes at Pinstripes earlier this year (Pinstripes is an in door lawn bowling and bowling establishment…we attended my friend Joe’s birthday party in the lawn bowling section, much to my eldest’s disappointment).

We invited a few local friends and family to join us on this inaugural bowling outing, but due to the first snowfall of the year (a birthday treat in and of itself) it ended up being just our household.   We had a great time! Our 3 yr. old did something I thought impossible.  On one of his turns he actually rolled the ball so slowly that it stopped and then began to roll backwards.  The boys thoroughly enjoyed themselves.  Our eldest bowled a respectable 95 (not bad for a first time bowler…and one point better than my wife I might add).

So, here we are half a week after our mountain high bowling excursion and every day since then I have heard a soft, sweet, but insistent request to go bowling again.  He’ll say, “I want to go bowling.”  To which I’ll say something like, “No, it’s not time to go bowling, little man.  It’s time to clean up our toys, and then it’s lunch time, and then it’s time to take a rest.”  To which his reply is something like. “Ok…It’s time to clean up, and eat lunch and take a rest and then we go bowling.”  He really is quite persistent.

Every time he asks (or insists) that we go bowling it breaks my heart.  I would love to just drop everything and go bowling whenever he asks.  But it is practically not an opption schedule wise.  Not to mention it would end up nickel and diming our budget to debt (sorry, I like puns).   

As I look to the future I’m sure that there will be other “bowling outings” through the years; things that we can splurge on but can’t do every day.  These exciting mountain top occasions are great, but unfortunately most of life is lived in “the prairie.”  It is easy to feel like I am letting him down every time I say no to “playing bowling.”  However, I know that apart from the mountain high times my wife and I have instilled in him plenty of reasons to know we love him.  

He’s experienced that love through the 5 plus years of his life we have spent caring for him day and night.   It’s weighed out in the tens of thousands of pounds of diapers (and pull-ups) we’ve changed.   This love  has grown out of all of the funny faces we’ve made at each other…and the meals we’ve shared…and the games we’ve played…and bath times antics over the years.  He knows it from the worn and torn pages of the books we’ve read countless times.  It’s the product of all the prayers we’ve said together and all the songs we’ve sung before going to bed.   It is reinforced in our daily lives lived in “the prairie.”   And despite our shortcomings as parents or our limitations as responsible adults, he knows we love him even when we don’t go bowling.   On second thought, it is not all that unfortunate that our son’s knowledge of our love for him isn’t based solely on mountaintop experiences. 

Life in the prairie might not always be as fun and exciting (although it certainly can be a lot of fun), but when you come down off the mountain there is little better than taking a warm bubble bath and putting on  some Spiderman PJs, to cuddle up with mom or dad and read a few books before going to bed.  May God bless us with peace, joy and love no matter what our elevation in life.

Deep recall

I have been blessed with a wonderful family.  My wife and I celebrated 10 yrs of marriage this past summer.  In just a few days our eldest will turn 5.  Our middle (3yrs old) insists he wants to be the oldest and biggest and first and strongest…when it comes to pretty much everything.  Our youngest is just starting to get into the mix of it all.

So, our eldest is the first to do most stuff (as is I suppose the expected way of things).  Since he was 2 our eldest has been able to spell his name (a feat many adults have trouble with as his name is not too common).  We actually made up a cheer that we would chant in the car in order to help him learn how to spell his name.  I can still hear every time he spells his name that he is spelling it in rhythm with the cheer.

It reminds me of an experience in spelling I had as a young lad.  I remember learning a song as a child called I am a C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N.  The last line of the song says, “And I will L-I-V-E-  E-T-E-R-N-A-L-L-Y.”  Well the result was that as I grew up I always had to quickly sing the last line of that song to myself if I was trying to spell the word “eternally.”  Like my son and his name cheer I could not think of the word outside of the context in which it was learned.  I am calling this kind of association a “deep recall.” While I am no longer bound to that sing-songy mental spellcheck, I do get transported back to childhood chapels every time I think of that song.

So this begs the question in my mind:  What kinds of deep recalls are my wife and I instilling in the minds of our children?  What automatic associations are they going to have with certain words…with certain practices…with certain places?  Will they like being in Christian community…singing, reading, praying, etc?  What kind of humor are we encouraging or supporting?  What kinds of behaviors are they picking up from us?

Our children are very different and yet it seems to me that much of who each one is becoming is just a variation or magnification of who we are around them.  They are learning who to be from us for better or worse, regardless of our intentions.  They are our apprentices in life and are looking to us as masters in how to live.   When I realize this I pray that my practice of living is worth learning from and it makes me want to change those things in me that I know are not worth their study in living.  Whether with our children or whoever is looking to us as examples in life may God guide us all and give us strength through His Word, so that we may do this life training well.